Random Rants and Rambling #37 | Love Triangles

Hello, hello! welcome back to another Random Rants. Today, I want to talk about….. Love Triangles.

Back in September of 2013 – I posted about love triangles, and what DEFINES a love triangle on the blog. I saw (still see) so many to quickly point out a love triangle when there just isn’t one, nor is there any reason to believe there would be. I don’t want to go back into all those details – today, I was to discuss WHY THEY DON’T BOTHER ME and how some are realistic.


I feel like the love/hate triangle thing is just that, love or hate. Both sides are passionate about their reasons, and I see both sides. But honestly, love is such a… powerful thing. Not one simple thing defines it – and it can be expressed, shown and develop in many different ways. The obvious being loving your family vs children vs friends vs your lover. You love them, in different ways, right?

So why wouldn’t you be able to love two people at the same time, the same way? 

That’s doesn’t mean one is better than the other. That doesn’t make you or whomever, a bad person. That doesn’t make it WRONG. That doesn’t mean the love isn’t REAL. Love doesn’t just GO AWAY at the snap of a finger. If you truly love someone, that love may fade but it’ll always be there, in some way shape or form.


Majority of the love triangles that I see are in Young Adult – granted, there are some in new adult and adult books as well, but from what I HAVE READ, they aren’t as common. Now, why is that? I don’t have all the answers – but it’s because teens are growing. They are becoming adults, discovering themselves and finding their place in the world. They make mistakes. They love deeply. They change their mind about everything, all the dang time. Think back to high school – how long were the average break ups before either a) they got back together or b) find someone else? Does that mean they didn’t care for the person? No.

I feel like my explanations are sub par – but I guess what I am trying to say but not is that I don’t put love in this singular bubble with a specific definition and RULES. It just IS. It has a mind of its own. You can’t control it. You just FEEL it.

Tell Me Your Thoughts

  • How do you feel about love triangles? Do you agree or disagree?
  • What is your favorite love triangle you have read in YA?


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25 thoughts on “Random Rants and Rambling #37 | Love Triangles

  1. Sophie

    I don’t really have a problem with love triangles, if they’re done well. I agree that teenagers are growing, and they’re just getting used to all these feelings rushing through them. They might not fully understand what love is, and just feel affection, lust, etc., for their potential love interests. It can make a book more realistic if the protagonist is feeling conflicted, because no one is perfect and knows exactly what they want. Great post!

    1. tonyalee

      Exactly. Sometimes, lust and other emotions can consume you and make you THINK it’s love! I just hate it when a love triangle is thrown in for added angst or whatever. If it doesn’t fit the story.

  2. Lauren @ Bookmark Lit

    I love this. I really, really agree. I’ve been tempted in general to post a love triangle discussion but I don’t know how to put to words my thoughts on them. First of all, it’s obviously okay to like them OR to dislike them. It’s okay to even hate them and not want to read about them. If it’s something that personally affects you or upsets you (maybe from past experience), then you don’t have to read them! I just don’t like when others are shamed for not minding them. Second, I’ve been involved in somewhat of ~love triangles~ when I was young and in high school — exactly the age of most of these book characters! I LIKE reading about realistic love triangles, where the two people offer you something different or make you feel different ways. Or even just make you feel cared about and interesting. It’s happened to me before and I turned into a perfectly fine person. I like knowing these teens in books might make mistakes and learn from them because it’s real to me; I’ve lived it. They don’t bother me as long as it seems real. Sorry for the novel 😉

    1. tonyalee

      Yes, it IS okay to like or dislike them! Totally agree. I get asked things think, “How can you read that!?” or “why are you reading that? It has a love triangle!” Um, okay?

      I wasn’t exactly, but kind of. It’s a long story but I have seen many others in this situation, so to ME, it’s realistic. I think it has to do with our own experiences, too.

  3. Braine

    Love triangle per se is realistic. What I don’t like is what it does to the characters esp in YA. The usual heroine is girl next door then she gets all her powers or gets super hot overnight and suddenly she’s hot shit. Total airhead transformation and I hate it too when the boy/s get strung along. It’s annoying! lol

      1. Braine

        What trope? The S trope? Lol

        I guess it’s in the characters for sure. CClare had me weeping for the triangle in Infernal Devices because Tessa handled it well. Meanwhile Bella annoyed the shit out of me from the beginning because she’s just a horny little bitch who wants a cold and dead peen in her hahaha

        Good morning!

        1. tonyalee

          The “girl next door who doesn’t think she is anything becomes the special snowflake” troupe LOL

          “cold and dead peen” LMFAO I liked the love triangle in TID but I didn’t like the resolution. It was too…. convenient?

  4. Jessica@Lovin' Los Libros

    Whew. You just KILLED that girl. You are so right. I don’t particularly like love triangles, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t realistic. They are. Especially among teens, who like you said are so fickle and ever-changing. I remember my best friend being in a couple herself. How does one ‘choose’ between the first love of their life and a new one? It wasn’t an easy decision and it didn’t mean she could just stop loving one of them. You’re right. It doesn’t work that way.

    1. tonyalee

      LOL thanks!

      I remember the story you told me about your best friend. But to some people, there shouldn’t be a choice. The only time a love triangle bothers me is when there is cheating involved. Like, don’t put yourself in a situation, ya know?!

  5. Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction

    I agree with you – I don’t mind love triangles at all if they’re done well. Though I will say that it sometimes makes it harder for me to invest in a couple if I can see a love triangle looming on the horizon – I don’t want to get too attached if she’s not sticking with the guy! But I agree that love triangles are a real life thing that people deal with, especially younger people who are still trying to figure out who they are and what they want out of life and love!

    1. tonyalee

      Think about it though – how often does the new “love interest” get chosen? I know of a few, but not many. lol It’s the drama that annoys me, especially when there are times I feel it’s not “necessary”

  6. Danni Mae

    This is a really good viewpoint! Generally I hate love triangles because I feel like if you can’t choose WHO you love, you don’t love either of them nearly enough. But you’re right- love is not an exclusive thing, and loving one person doesn’t mean you love another less. But another part of me thinks that true love- love reserved for one and only one person right for you- outshines your love for others so much that there’s just no questioning it. But that also comes from experience. I’d love to hear more on this!

    1. tonyalee

      I don’t think it’s a matter of choosing who you love, because most times s/he loves them both. It’s figuring out who is BEST for you. I’ve never felt that a character is trying figure out who she loves. Make sense?
      But how can you know that person is your one true love, without trials? True love will outshine love for others, I agree. But I also don’t think you can’t love someone else because of that. There are so many ways to love. It’s hard for me to get into details without an example haha

      1. Danni Mae

        I can’t really say- I guess my experience with love is just different than others. It’s just always been so easy to know, and even when I really cared for other friends, it was a different kind of love. I suppose it’s very possible to love them both that kind of love

        1. tonyalee

          I am sure it is! I think all of us experience things differently! Sometimes, you know. you can look at someone and just think, “this is the love of my life” and some people can’t recognize that until much later.

  7. Bunnita @ Worth Reading It?

    I don’t have a problem with love triangles. I think they happen all the time. I do think that you can’t love two people the same way (romantically). Triangles usually happen because each person has some quality the other person lacks. One is emotionally there for you but the other is fun and comfortable. Good topic. I may have to tackle it myself.

    1. tonyalee

      So, are you saying that you can love two people at the same time but in different ways? Or just, not at all?

      Honestly for me, I have my general thoughts on them but they can vary depending on the situation, ya know?

  8. SJ Bouquet

    You actually put it into very intelligent words. *slow clap* BRAVO! I’ve always been in the middle when it comes to love triangles. I don’t care what’s loving who how when or why. What I care about is if it’s realistic. If it’s a slow burn romance. My big turn of is INSTA love. Not that a people can’t have a spark right away. It’s just… how love is written is what matters to me. It’s pacing. It’s delivery. If that love is written in the form of a love triangle, okay, but it has to be well done 🙂 Now, to the less intelligent part of my comment- HELLS JUST GIVE ME A LOVE TRIANGLE WITH ALL THE TENSION PLEASE SO I CAN CHEER FOR MY FAVORITE POTENTIAL WINNER! a;lskdf;alkdjf My fav love triangle…square? Was Nokolai and Alina from The Grisha Trilogy. Haha.. my choice never wins *sobs* great post!

    1. tonyalee

      LOL thank you! This was a hard one to write, for sure.

      Delivery is HUGE. The situation can be realistic, but if I am not “sold” on it?? NOPE.

      LOL yes, the tension with choosing sides and the great debate! I think this is why they are so popular in YA, to be honest.

  9. Kristen @ Metaphors and Moonlight

    How funny, I also just put up a post about love triangles! It always makes me happy to find other people who like them though because it seems we’re in the minority. I do think it’s possible to love two people at once. I also think that many times, when we label something a “love” triangle, it’s really just a feelings triangle, which is even more realistic and possible. You also make a great point about how teenagers are growing and figuring things out and do feel things with more abandon and change their minds constantly. When you put it that way, it makes sense why YA has the most love triangles. Great discussion post!

    1. tonyalee

      Did you? I will go and read it now!

      I love that you said a feelings triangle! This happens more often than not, and I agree that it’s quick to be pointed out a love triangle.

  10. Dena @ Batch of Books

    Great thoughts! I don’t mind love triangles, especially in YA. I don’t like them so much in adult fiction because it usually spells “affair”. But in YA, bring on the love triangles! Being a teen is a fresh, exciting time with lots of emotions and lots of feelings. I feel like love triangles in YA is pretty accurate. 🙂

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